Monday, September 4, 2017

Howdy! I sort of gave up this blog for a long time after a great deal of stress and crises in my life. First, there was the very real fear of losing my home. I had no clue how to survive as a homeless person. Where was I supposed to go? Where do I sleep when my medical needs require an electrical outlet for my life support equipment? And how do I walk out the front door and leave behind all my sentimental family treasures? Things that belonged to my mother, grandmothers and great-grandmother... my mind couldn't wrap around leaving it all behind to be homeless. I took care of my mother here for 30 years. She was bedridden,on oxygen, on a tube feeding the last few years. I still feel her presence here. It comforts me.

To be clear, it wasn't that I couldn't afford mortgage payments. That was doable even with my meager social security income. What I couldn't afford was to pay my property taxes. It got right up to the edge of five years, the deadline for when your house is put up for auction.

I had no choice but to get a reverse mortgage. I'm still not sure if that is a good thing but it paid off my property taxes and the remaining mortgage and it's given me a little extra money every month. Plus, my home has been remodeled top to bottom.

Then there was the stroke I had on New Year's Day 2014. I guess I would call it a mild stroke. My speech was not affected but to this day,my left arm and hand are still not 100% reliable. It took me 18 months to train my left arm and hand to cooperate in putting a shower cap on my head. I still can't trust that left hand to carry a cup of coffee. But, mostly, I rebuilt my life.

And now, there's some funny business going on with my heart. I get palpitations and a whirry fluttering feeling from time to time. Once in a great while, the fluttery feeling shoots up into my brain and makes me woozy. My pulse which is normally rapid races up to 197 and sustains there for several hours. This has only happened two or three times in the last couple of years. I do avoid going out for fear that it might happen when I am out in public. In fact, the first time it happened, I was driving my car so I pulled into the nearest parking lot. I was able to get out of my car and stagger into the CVS pharmacy and flop down into a patio chair on sale. I thought I was going to black out. It had been an extremely hot day and I was sweating too much and not drinking enough water so I think those were contributing factors.

Anyway, I kind of lost my mental oomph to keep a blog going. Here I am now. I think I will maybe add stuff of interest to seniors here from time to time. I haven't completely lost my spirit.

I'm still here.

Me, my sister, and brother cerca 1956 or thereabouts.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...